Location – Resource Brewing Co., Albuquerque, NM
Hared by our new RA- Geolojizz!
So there we were… wait no, that is not how this one started. (Clears throat) Excuse me, let me start over.
So there I was, in premisman Gherkin fashion, I was late to trail. Being late in the hash is typically on time though I thought. I soon learned that being late to THIS trail, actually meant I was late and that hash time was not being honored by our most punctual hare. In a most shocking turn of events, I was 6 minutes late to pack-away, only to learn the pack left on time!
I swiftly started trail and came upon the most astonishing amount of safety crossings and true trails in the history of the hash. What did she have in store for us? I wondered.
With the power of the tuned of Queen, and sustenance of gherkins and olive oil, I ran and I ran, until catching up with the pack. I ran some more until I found our first Eagle- Boujee. Carrying a great piece of road signage as his trail treasure, Boujee was honoring his New Year’s resolution by being on of the Eagle’s (we welcum you to the pack!).
The first r*nners to the beer check were Clit Clit Boom, and Just Jackson. With a freshly painted set of rainbow hair, our lovely harriette Geolojizz, welcummed me to the beer check and soon the rest of the pack arrived. The last to arrive of the latecummers was McRim Job, Special Sauce, and Just Chamo. Special Sauce takes a lot of time to put on her public appearance face and drives like a grandma I hear, so we will give McRim Job another pass on this one.
Leaving the beer check the pack came upon the first of many splits, this one being a Turkey/Eagle split. The other splits that followed were devised by Geolojizz and were pawprint/diamond checks. The pawprint signified dog friendly trail while the diamond specified a most shiggy trail. A most impressive number of splits for a solo hare!
After r*nning many splits, 99.99% of the pack recognized the On-In as going into the casa de Geolojizz, while an absent minded Gherkin ran a ways past this thinking it meant to go back to Resource Brewing. He’s cute though so we forgive him. (why yes, I did switch to the third person for you English majors 😉)
Circle soon commenced at Casa de Geolojizz and was led by R.A Poonie and the hash business went on. Clit Clit Boom was the FRB and will happily receive the brick once we find out its whereabouts again… In another HISTORIC moment- TACO was our Turkey FRB, and FBI! DFL was Geek though he may have been on another trail. There is no telling.
Grumbles of not enough boobs on trail, and not enough beer checks were thrown at the hare. Geolojizz’s defense for the later accusation was “I had 7 beer checks and TACO made me cut them.” I would still be drunk while writing this if that had occurred.
Other accusations included marks not being in chalk talk, the ungodly amount of safety crossings, and a most memorable moment – Just Jackson WORE NEW SHOESSSSSSS. In another interesting turn of events, Just Jackson decided to drink the beer through a sock. We applaud you Just Jackson.
The other noteworthy occurrence during circle was that Clit Clit Boom received his name necklace. Now that that business is over with it was time for announcements!
Announcements
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Next CLIT is at Nexus Brewery @ 6 PM on Tuesday, January 10th, 2023
Next Trail is the Full Moon Redux Trail hared by Whale’s Vagina on Saturday January 14th, 2023. Meet at 1 PM and check the website and Facebook for further deets.
That’s all folks!
Yours Truly,
Extra Virgin Gherkin Jerkin