All titles and names are approximate and we take no responsibility for anyone, ever, or whatever it is they’re doing or think they’re doing.
Grand Masters – T.A.C.O. and PG 6″
Glorified babysitters and herders of tipsy kitties. These people are Special; not unique-snowflake-bright-butterfly-champagne-sunset Special. Just ‘special,’ like a tricycle missing its back two wheels. Chairpersons of the board and (mis)guiding light who simultaneously channel ABQH3’s character and lack thereof. Navigate kennel through all tides of hash beer, settle disputes, empower mismanagement, preserve the legacy of Vag and all half-mind GM jedis, serve as transparent sounding board for all whining, and suppress drama like a warm excrement-absorbent blanket.
Questions? Shoot us an email.
Religious Advisors – Geolojizz, Taun Taun Poontang, & Catalina Shit Mixer
Keepers of the faith. Enforcers of the scriptures. These are the hashers who have seen the light and can taste in their soul the true spirit of Hashing. The Religious Advisors spread the word and inspire the zest and zeal of the hash in all participants. Any hasher found transgressing the spirit of hashing is disciplined by the RA’s. They are the keepers of the sacred Laws of Hashing and come up with sufficiently plausible lies to cover any serious questions of propriety of actions within the hash. The RA’s are personally responsible for ensuring that fine weather conditions prevail for a period of not less than one hour before a hash until DFL finishes.
Hash Cash – Double Dildo Ducky
The holder of the purse-strings. Someone who acts happy to see you at the start of a hash only to ask you for money. These generally unappreciated duties fall on the shoulders of the Hash Cash. This trustworthy soul must withstand the whining of the Hares who have over-spent, the whimpering of those who forgot their fees, and the interrogations of those who mistakenly think there should be some sort of accounting for hash funds.
Hash **ash (Trash and Flash) – Upchuck, Eat Friend and Enter (EFAE), & Whornithologist, MD
Trash: Keeper of the Hash-Trash. Weaves a creative (if not entirely factual) story of the happenings of each run and distributes to the entire hash for general amusement.
Flash: Generates incriminating visual evidence of our debauchery on trail. Show off your goods to the Hash Flash, or let them know if you are camera shy and wish to hide.
Haberdashery – Boujee & Knot Lobster
Provides hash attire and hash accessories to the pack. Able to create humorous and long lasting shirts, shorts, hats, and drinking vessels out of thin air (for a small price).
Hare Raiser – Eeewhore
An undercover agitator who seeks out hashers (usually after they’ve had a few drinks) and signs them up for haring future runs. Will interpret even the most lukewarm response to such inquiries as a “yes”. Want to hare a hash? Let the Hare Raiser know.
Beer Meister – Skittles Colon Taste the Asshole & Ambidickstrous
Bearer of the amber nectar. Provides love, warmth, and thirst quenching refreshment to each and every hash. Must have a vehicle with large cargo capacity and good shock absorbers to prevent undue foam-age. Tends to be very popular with the pack for some reason.
Webmeister & Socialsex – Party Pooper
Forgets to update the website and butchers the HTML. Probably one of the sexiest people you’ll meet. 😉
Floater – Piggy Style, Kink 180 Spew, Annular Fuck Stuck
Rises to the top to fill in when the other misman wanks are out for the count. Floaters are down (down down) for anything!