Location– Tingley Drive Southern Bosque Trailhead
The Hares – DOT DOT DOT…. & No One Fucks Penguins Like Gaston
The Trail
Another trail for the ages it was. The trail of many names, fit for a hare with many… many… many stories. The details of this trail will be debated in hash lore for many moons to cum, but one certainty is that the hares were DOT and that guy who likes to fuck penguins and Disney characters (with great new penguins on his necklace, seriously, check it out next time you see him). Have I got your attention yet? No? Well most of you don’t have the attention span to read all of this anyway so bugger off!
It was a Saturday, as Saturday is a hashing day here in Albuquerque, New Mexico. The pack met at Tingley Drive Southern Bosque Trailhead. Chalk talk was soo thoughtfully placed in the way of all incoming and outgoing traffic for the trail parking lot. Would you expect anything less from a bunch of hashers? Our most notable guest RA, Catalingus got the pack through the standard marks in chalk talk. This was a pretty no nonsense chalk talk.
The Turkey/Eagle split was immediate, and very evident like most marks on this trail (ha!) The two acronyms, POW and EVGJ, took off on the Eagle. The Turkey Troupe consisted of Catalingus, Party Pooper, Skittles Taste the Asshole, Ambidixtrous, Kilty Pleasure, Just Holly and Cunta -Kintae (correct the spelling if you wish).
The first part of the trail strolled through the Barelas Neighborhood before a few checks took the pack into the Bosque adjacent to the infamous ‘Glass Beach’. All made it to the first of two beer checks without too much grumbling. The shade and shitty beer was most enjoyable as one of the hares regaled us with stories of Glass Beach. After rehydrating, the pack left towards the next split. This is where things got dicey depending on which half mind you ask.
Gherkin and POW ran quite a ways straight down the Bosque (eerily reminiscent of the most monotonous trail ever devised which shall not be named) and very much got their miles in as Eagles. A check eventually sent them off into the woods (Gherkin, in his usual fashion immediately lost his shades), and back the direction they came from. They Eagles were running parallel to the trail they had just cum from. The Eagle split was a U-shape of sorts. Eventually, the two Eagles made it to the second Beer Check. Waiting for them at the beer check was the first (and only?! Say what?) Turkey, Cunta -Kintae. The beer meister beer mule extraordinaire E-whore was also there along with the two hares.
A long time passed before the group grew concerned that no other turkeys had arrived. Cunta -Kintae decided to search for the Turkeys, and soon after the Hares followed suit. (they were incredulous, where could the turkeys be?? It was a simple trail?) Eventually, Gherkin joined the search party too.
They searched high and low, amongst the mud, in the glass fields, the trees, and a crazed Gherkin even forded the MIGHTY Rio Grande in search of any Turkeys who can’t swim (that crazy pickle will do anything to get wet)…. But no trace of the Turkeys could be found! Once in a blood moon a trail demands a sacrifice, but a whole flock of Turkeys?? It’s uncanny. Some thought the most likely explanation is that they stumbled upon a toilet somewhere and Party Pooper flushed them down it.
The search party eventually decided to turn back and finish trail. Low and behold they found the Turkeys back at start! It’s a Dotmas miracle. Accusations of all sorts were thrown at the hares, but without a narrative from a Turkey, the truth of what happened may never be known.
Circle soon commenced after a couple hangry Turkeys returned from a Sonic venture. Cunta -Kintae surprised all by gifting the Beer Meister with a plush beer mug hat in the tradition of a former kennel of his. FRBs, FBIs, and DFLs were recognized. Some cheery singing occurred, and then announcements about CLIT, the Nob Hill Pub Crawl, and RDR were made. A most joyous on after was had at El Vado to put the mystery and treachery of that trail behind everyone.
ANNOUNCEMENTS!!!
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Friday 9/16/2022 – RDR Nob Hill Pub Crawl! (Check facebook event tab for details, or the ABQH3 website)
Saturday 9/17/2022 – RDR!! (check Facebook event tab or the website)
On on!