Who done it?? – The Lone Hare – Ragume
Other Unnecessary Details? It was a cool 87 degrees Fahrenheit (get outta here with that Kelvin shit.)
Anywho… A lone hare who goes by the name of ‘Ragume‘ decided to lay a shitty trail for us wankers with the best of intentions. The theme of the trail was a mishmash of Disney/Breaking Bad truly fit for a bunch of misfits and yet, curiously, our very own hare wore nothing on theme!! (how we did not make him drink for this in circle is beyond me)
After a quick chalk talk by our guest RAs (our very own Grand Masters in fact – Tip of the Assberg and Auto Erotic Fixation), and an introduction of various hashers including : a visiting hasher from Border Jumpers named MeDic, his doggo hasher named Don’t Hump MeDic, a returning ABQ hasher named Flounder Pounder, and two new Albquerque hashers (Kilty Pleasure and Just Holly), the pack scurried off to start the trail!
At least 69 song checks were encountered (Ragu provided the pack with song sheets, how nice) on trail which proved to be actual checks (who said the hare could do that?!), Micky Mouse ear checks (very creative!), and many YBFs that our poor raceists stumbled upon under the unforgiving Albuquerque sun, a beer check was eventually found adjacent to a school (only 4 miles to get there.. that darn Ragu). At the most blessed beer check many mysterious chalk drawings in the fasion of many Disney themes were seen on the ground. Rightly so our beloved Ragu got his fill of drinking in circle for these ground portraits.
Many cold beverages were enjoyed by all and after departing the BC, the Roadrunner/Coyote split divided the pack into a trio of human raceists with one canine raceist, as Roadrunners, and the rest of the pack into los Coyotes.
After three more miles dodging in and out of Arroyos, and getting fooled by the hare’s trail markings, the Roadrunners finished trail. (I have no idea what the Coyotes were doing but they were sure enjoying their beverages in the shade when us dumbasses got back)
Circle soon commenced, and our RA, Auto started the usual business of hashy things. Unsurprisingly, MeDic had PLENTY to drink for, as well as the shittiest hare of all (but not as shitty as Oxford), RaguMe. and what a circle it was! The record shows that there was no DFL (what a fucking day to be DFL I tell ya), no FBI, and no FRB! The hare decided to wear a Tiger Outfit for circle, which amusingly, WAS STILL NOT ON THEME. (and yet somehow, we still forgot to make him drink). I can’t remember the rest of circle because heat exhaustion is a bitch, but it was a glorious circle all in all. After rehydrating, a few of the stragglers had a most enjoyable on after at B2B Brewery with lukewarm beers. (and some even got espresso next door, but that’s a story for when you’re older) Enough about all that- Onto Announcements!
ANNOUCEMENTS!!!
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Saturday – 9/10/2022 – ABQH3 #951- check facebook or the website for deets!
Tuesday 9/13/2022 – come find the CLIT – Resource Brewing Co @ 6 PM
Friday 9/16/2022 – RDR Nob Hill Pub Crawl! (Check facebook for deets, this isn’t my job get over yourself! ;))
Saturday 9/17/2022 – RDR!! (again check Facebook or the website for deets you wankers)
Saturday 9/24/2022 – Hare NEEDED!! (Contact our esteemed Hareraiser DOT, if you would like to volunteer)
This is my first time writing one of these so fuck off if you hated it. Jk, love y’all!
Yours Truly,
Extra Virgin Gherkin Jerkin